Hmmm.....

I had just finished photostatting some documents when the clerk came to me and told me that My Lady Boss wanted to see me. 'Okay', I said... Oh God, what now? We already had a short meeting about 2 hours ago discussing on a company that needed our help on a project. Since it didn't benefit any of us, we decided to turn them down. So, what else now? Hmm...

Still I put on a big smile while entering her office. She is a petite woman with gigantic spirit. She is committed to her work but never fails to be a fun boss. So far, she is the best boss I've ever had - warm, approachable, rational and... FUN!

Me : Knock! Knock! Mrs...... Morning. You wanted to see me?

LB : Oh yes, Oren. Morning. Come in. So tell me how was the course in Putrajaya?

Me : Oh, it was ok. They explained about... bla..bla..bla...

LB : Oh, ok. You know what? The government is allocating some money for...bla..bla..bla..

Me : I'll see what can be done. We should try to get the allocation. We need the money right?

LB : We don't mind money. (smiling)

Me : Absolutely (smiling). Is that all?

LB : (Took something under the file) This is for you.

Me : Angpau! Oh, Mrs..... Thank you! (grinning ear to ear). My first angpau for this year!

LB : So, Oren, will I hear wedding bells soon? (smiling mischievously)

Oh gosh, if only she knew what happened to me recently.

Me : Well, I'm also hoping for the wedding bells to ring, the sooner the better!

We both burst out laughing

LB : I wonder lah... I mean... I don't undestand why... You are... (Looking at me wonderingly. I could see the question 'HOW COME?' was vividly written on here forehead)

Me : I wonder about it myself! I also don't understand!

Again, laughter filled up the room.

I then politely thanked her for her generousity and left. I knew I was the only one who got an angpau from her. If my other single collegues found out about it, that's it! So, I had to keep it to myself.

And I knew what she meant when she wondered and did not understand. She believed people like me should have tied a knot. She liked me. My collegues enjoyed me. My students adored me. So, how come there wasn't any guy liking me for the same reasons and making me their bride? I don't have the answer really.... I'm baffled myself... To make it worse, some guy just broke my heart! Hmmm......

This is me... drifting away..

BEREFT - Robert Frost

Where had I heard this wind before
Change like this to a deeper roar?
What would it take my standing there for,
Holding open a restive door,
Looking downhill to a frothy shore?
Summer was past and day was past.
Somber clouds in the west were massed.
Out in the porch's sagging floor
Leaves got up in a coil and hissed,
Blindly struck at my knee and missed.
Something sinister in the tone
Told me my secret must be known:
Word I was in the house alone
Somehow must have gotten abroad,
Word I was in my life alone,
Word I had no one left but God.

I drifted...
I drifted, I did not walk
I drifted, I did not feel
I drifted, I did not breathe
I just drifted the whole day...

am mending a broken heart..

......................................................................

when you thought he was the one and were flying high in the sky of love and utter happiness,

the truth hit u so hard that u came crashing down on the ground of sorrow and hopelessness

..............................................................

when you thought you were the one and blissfully dancing on the floor of glory and enjoying the limelight, you were pushed roughly by another dancer and you stumbled hard on the floor of devastation

........................................

it hurts... it really hurts...

......................................................................................

jalan kerja jalan kerja

Will be away for a few days again... I love travelling, yes, but love it most when it is for leisure.. Bila pergi sana pergi sini sebab kerja, or my 'career project' to be exact, memang memenatkan.. But don't get me wrong... I am not whining.. I learn quite a lot from my travelling.. And most importantly meet new people.. Cuma my schedule selalu packed. Zoom sana zoom sini.. Memang memenatkan... But you gain some you lose some kan? Nevertheless, I'm ready for the next adventure.

small treat... BIG love...

For the past few weeks, despite my busy schedule, I managed to visit my favourite boutique. And everytime I went there I would bag at least a piece of blouse. Have been spending hundreds of ringgit for myself. I felt bad actually... I realised that I've been quite selfish. It is time to buy stuff for my parents pulak... hmm.. the last time I bought things for them was last raya! See! I've told you I've been selfish!!! Shame on me...

So, tonight, (it was rather an impromptu planning) right after maghrib, I asked my parents to get dressed. On the way to Jusco, I asked them to think of the stuff that they wanted to buy, be it handbags, shoes, pants, shirts, whatever... things that I can afford la.... hehe..

I had fun shopping with them. We seldom do this nowadays. I'm always running here and there with my endless activities and god-knows-what. Mak and Abah are always at home taking care of my nephews and niece. Indisputably they deserve this small treat from me tonight.

There were like rows and more rows of handbags. some were cheap but low quality, some were amazingly beautifully but expensive and others just nice and reasonable. Mak wanted a brown handbag this time (she has quite a collection of colourful handbags and they match her shoes!)After browsing from one row to another, mak finally decided on this greyish brown handbag. Simple but very elegant looking. Price: reasonable. Then I asked her which of her shoes matches this handbag. She just smiled and said "Mak mana ada kasut warna brown. kena la beli satu!" Hahaha.. that's mak. So I led her to the shoes area. This task was even more difficult because greyish brown is not a common colour. But with some determination (che wah!) we finally found one. I paid for both stuff and mak was grinning ear to ear. I felt good!

Then, it was abah's turn. At first he said he didn't want anything, but I know abah very well. He just needed a little coaxing. I took him to the men's department. I had decided to buy him a nice short sleeves shirt that can be worn in both casual and formal occasions. Buying things for abah was a bit easier. He wasn't very fussy, at least not tonight. We landed on this handsome green and brown stripes shirt. Perfect size. Abah would look ten years younger in it! hehe..

We left Jusco feeling happy and good. Naaaah, it was more than good.. It felt great! :D

spoooooooky!

It happened yesterday...

I was exhausted. I went to places almost every weekend and this particular one I had to work on saturday. Just my luck. I got home around 2pm. Then, after refreshing myself I started checking my emails. Yup, after almost 2 weeks without being 'connected', I am now back in this net world. So, it took me quite a while to check all my emails. Since I didn't want to be disturbed by my nephews (they like to play in my room), I locked the door. I was all alone. Just me and my laptop. The tv was off. I seldom listen to the radio. Just the sound of the cool air coming out from my air conditioner (yup, it needs to be serviced). After what seemed like one and a half hour, I then decided to have my forty winks. I had an appointment at 5, so a nap would refresh me. The room was quiet. I was flying high in the dreamland. My soul was being sucked deeper and deeper to the unknown. Suddenly, I heard a click and..

"Yeah, kita bersama dengan artis yang seterusnya, Hattan dengan lagunya Cinta Si Rama-rama"

The TV was switched on! I woke up instantly! Looked around me. I was trying to find my nephews. Did they come in while I was sleeping? I didn't see them. I stared at Hattan. He was starting to sing his new number. I walked slowly to the attached bathroom. No one was there. Who switched on the idiot box? I stared at the door. It was shut closed. Wait a minute! I had locked the door! No one could enter my room without me opening it. So.... who switched on the tv? Because it is quite an old tv, the remote controller doesn't work anymore. I had thrown it away yearssssssss ago. I have to press the button on the tube to switch it on. I stared at the screen. My favourite band, Meet Uncle Hussein was singing 'Lagu Untukmu' now. It was a live telecast program called HITS from TV1. I knew this program but had never watched it before. I listened feelinglessly to MUH. I was still baffled. Who switched on the tv? Was I scared? No. Did my heart beat fast? No. I was just...... confused!

It doesn't make sense. I'm still wondering until today, what triggered the tube. How did it self-activate itself? When I told my parents this morning, Mak went quiet while Abah continued eating his breakfast.
After like 5 minutes...

Mak: Sebab kamu banyak sangat berjalan sana sini. Pastu kadang2 balik sampai lewat malam.. Mungkin ada yg mengikut.

Abah: Ish, ngarut je.. Entah-entah memang kamu dah on tv tu.

Me: ok bah, kalau ter'on' pun, kenapa after about 2 hours baru gambar dia keluar?

Silence.

Then I gathered the plates and mugs and washed the dishes.

It remains a mystery...

internetless

Arrrgggghhh... Tensionnya! Tensionnya! Internet di rumah problem. Struck by lightning I supposed. I was away for a week - had great time in Johor and Sabah. Rasa-rasanya I had switched off my internet before I left the house... Hmm.. I suspected it was my brother who switched it on and forgot to off it later... or... maybe it was me... after all I am quite absent-minded... not fair to put the blame on my brother kan? hmmm......

I had called the installation company for numerous times, but they gave me their ever-famous lame excuse - "our technicians are very busy" :P bengangnye!

Sure hope they will come today... or I will burn their company down! :/ grrrr....