To marry or not to marry...

Received a call from a dear friend. She was in a dilemma. She had a boyfriend, a married man. They had been seeing each other for nearly a year. My friend believed it was time to tie a knot. She didn't want to wait anymore for she was not getting any younger. She did not mind to become the second wife. So, the boyfriend told his wife of his intention and wanted her blessing. The answer was a big NO. He sadly brought the news to my friend and begged his girlfriend to let things be as they are. No string attached but no doubt the LOVE is there. As a woman, my friend couldnt just live on love and being somebody's secret lover. She felt her boyfriend did not try hard enough to get his wife's blessing. She was devastated. Tension was building up. She didnt want to break up but she needed to break away for a while. And while doing that, she met her chatting friend. They saw each other for coffee twice. And they hit it off. He didnt waste any time. He proposed. Unfortunately, he also had a wedding band on his finger. my friend refused to give any answer before he got the blessing from his wife. He did as told. And got the blessing after much persuasion and argument. But my friend was still indecisive. She still loved the first boyfriend and she felt she was moving too fast with the second bf. However whe knew the first couldnt give her the title that she wanted whereas the second seemed very serious to make her his.

She called me with this dilemma and asked for advice. Well, I was no expert but I believe both of the men are not good enough for her. she deserves someone better. My reason was: The first one was obviously selfish. He wanted a wife at home and a girlfriend outside. Typical male species! I dont see any point of being in the relationship that is lopesided. The second one was too gelojoh. Plus, he didnt make much, hence was actually unable to give ample 'nafkah zahir'. He said, he could only give around RM200 monthly to my friend if they were married. The rest, my friend who earned more, had to endure on her own. I have this belief that, when you are married, your life should be upgraded, not, downgraded. Money is not everything, but everything is money. Yes, I may sound materialistic but I am being realistic.

So, I asked her to take her time before making any decision. She must get to know the second bf well enough before saying I do. The most important thing, she must be ready to change her life completely! She must be ready not to compare herself with other wives whose husband can afford to buy things for them, but my friend has to buy things for herself. But, actually what I fear the most is that the second bf might want to live on HER money. It happens everywhere nowadays. Honestly, I didnt help her much... like I said, I am no expert.

lean on me...

I had never watched 'LEAN ON ME'. I knew it was a good movie. Well, almost all Morgan Freeman's movies are good and worth watching. So, today, while I was browsing the movies on Astro, I saw that particular title queeing up for the next show. Got all my house chores done and then I was ready in front of the tube.

It was a very moving story. I was overwhelmed by the determination of Mr. Joe Clark (Freeman) as the principal to change his school and his students for the betterment no matter what the obstacles were. I cried watching the movie, boleh??? hehe.. semakin tua semakin vulnerable and touchy lah... hmm....

Anyway, below is one of Clark's brilliant speeches which I got from one of the websites:

Next time it may be you. If you do no better than they did (referring to the students cum gangsters and drug dealers who were just being expelled) , next time it will be you. They said this school was dead, like the cemetery it's built on. But we call our East Side teams "ghosts," don't we? And what are ghosts? Ghosts are spirits that rise from the dead. I want you to be my ghosts. You are going to lead our resurrection by defying the expectation that all of us are doomed to failure.
My motto is simple: If you do not succeed in life, I don't want you to blame your parents. I don't want you to blame the white man! I want you to blame yourselves! The responsibility is yours!!
In two weeks we have a practice exam and a minimum basic skills test on April 13th. That's a hundred and ten school days from now. But it's not just about those test scores. If you do not have these basic skills, you will find yourselves locked out! Locked out of that American Dream that you see advertised on TV -- that they tell you is so easy to get.

You are here for one reason -- one reason only: To learn, to work for what you want. The alternative is to waste your time and to fall into the trap of crime, drugs, and death. Does everyone understand that? Do all of you understand me?! Then welcome to the new East Side High!

bursts of laughter

I woke up feeling great and grateful to God for still breathing and having my heart beating. My numbers are adding up but I'm ok with it.. really! ;D

I drove to work knowing it was going to be a great day and I was right. Everybody at work not only wished me Happy Birthday, but they also sang me the song! I was overwhelmed! I smiled and laughed the whole day. Since they knew I love cheesecake very much, I received 5 slices of different cheesecake, boxes of chocolates (yeah, they are really good at making me grow bigger and bigger!), an organiser (which I appreciate very much coz my old one only has a few pages left) and some cards. Then I spent a couple of hours thanking each friend who sent me wishes through Facebook and sms.

Later in the evening, my friends picked me up for my 'burst'day dinner. We went to this new restaurant and ordered heaps od food! Boleh bagi makan satu kampung! We ate and talked and ate and bitched about stuff and laughed. It was good to be with dear friends on this special day.

I spent my 'burstday'day with bursts of laughter with smashing buddies... I feel great and blessed!

the eve...

My birthday is tomorrow... It falls on Saturday this year, so, I should be going out celebrate with friends tonite right? But I have to go to work tomorrow! Darn! So, what did i do tonite? Just a quiet and simple dinner with a friend whose birthday is today. Actually we had planned to celebrate our birthdays for years, but never seemed to find the chance to do so. Entah mcam mana, tetiba malam ni boths of us were free. So, we went out just now.. had dinner at SR. Because we had not seen each other for quite some time, we ate less but talked and talked and talked till we were the last one to leave the restaurant. It wasn't that late actually, but SR closes at 10pm. Then we headed home. That was all... hmm....

want the NEW thing...

I have to find a new interest la... a new hobby perhaps... a new love... a new life... I dont care what or who but it has to be new! I'm becoming more and more bored with almost everything.. I am somehow losing the excitement in everything.. Life has become a routine, thus I procrastinate more and more.. Life has become mundane, thus I enjoy it less and less... Nowadays I spend more time indoor than outdoor... spend more time staring at the PC screen than going out with friends.. spend more time with the idiot box than have good cups of coffee with buddies... Pathetic... Unhealthy... Sucks!

Change I must... Enjoy life more I should... Be happier I will..!!!

First, need to find that 'new' thing... what could it be? what would I want it to be? hmmm.....

Al fatihah..

Sebentar tadi baru je terima panggilan telefon dari seorang sahabat.. Abahnya yang menderita barah hati akhirnya menghembuskan nafas terakhir pada jam 6.50 petang. Pakcik Z dah 2-3 bulan terlantar di atas katil... 3-4 kali juga aku melawatnya.. Setiap kali pun menitis air mata melihat keadaannya yang semakin teruk saban hari.. Kali terakhir melawatnya perutnya dah semakin kembung kerana hati yang bengkak.. mata dan seluruh badan dah bertukar warna kuning.. Kepada sahabat aku tu, aku bisikkan kepadanya supaya bersedia untuk menghadapi sebarang kemungkinan, kerana melihatkan keadaannya aku tau, dah tak lama dah untuk dia pergi menemui penciptanya. Senang diucapkan dengan kata-kata, tetapi yang menanggungnya saja yang tahu kesedihan menyedari masa yang ada semakin berlalu pergi..

Pakcik Z aku anggap macam bapa aku sendiri.. Dia banyak membantu dan menyokong aku dan kawan-kawan dalam kerja amal kami. Dia seorang yang ceria dan selalu berjenaka. Seorang yang sangat disenangi dan sentiasa tersenyum. Kerana itu kehilangannya dirasai dan diratapi. Namun daripada dia terus menderita sakit, adalah baik dihentikan kesengsaraannya. Mungkin itulah yang terbaik untuk Pakcik Z.

Sahabat aku ini sangat rapat dan manja dengan abahnya ini. Selalu nyanyi karaoke di rumah bersama.. selalu dia mengikut abahnya ke kenduri-kenduri kawin sebab abahnya ada buat bisnes PA system dan karaoke kecil-kecilan. Memang susah untuk dia berpisah dengan abahnya. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi mata memikul. Tambahan pula abahnya pergi pada Hari Bapa Sedunia. Memang tragis. Aku doakan roh allahyarham Pakcik Z dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang beriman. Aku doakan sahabat aku ni dan ahli keluarganya dapat mengharungi hari-hari muka dengan penuh ketabahan da kekuatan. Aku doakan yang terbaik untuk semua. Amin.

To my Dad:

Happy Birthday Abah... Nothing compares to you... Love you heaps!!!

I dream of NZ

A friend just sent me a text informing me that she just got a scholarship to do her master. She might be doing it in New Zealand. She had two options actually, whether to do it in Australia or NZ. But I encouranged her to go to NZ instead... Well, simply because I wish to go there myself. Friends keep telling me that it is a beautiful country, but untill now, still takde rezeki to set my feet there.

I would love to do my master in NZ too. In fact, 2 years ago, I googled the courses that they have there and found one that I liked in the University of Auckland. They even sent me a catalogue on their university. I was really impressed and was ready to work my ass off to get the fund. However, something got in the way. And I had to choose. And I chose to postpone Auckland. There is no regret in my decision. I knew Auckland would always be there. I just hope I live long enough to be one of the residents there.

I'm still breathing... Alhamdulillah.. I guess the time has some for me to pave my way to NZ. Better do it now before it is too late.. before more wrickles on my face.. before my studying ability fades away.. ;D