Wednesday, April 29, 2009

searching for an answer...

I wasn't in the mood the last couple of days... Received one shocking news where this one particular despicable bimbo got promoted.. Gosh, life is indisputably unfair! How could someone who is unable to do work properly, lack of leadership skill and bias towards her teammates got to be upgraded??? I'm sure she slept her way to the top! Well, not literally, but, no doubt she sweet-talked the management to be where she is today! I wonder how many people she sucked up to!! I wasn't the only who was upset with the bitch's promotion. Friends kept on calling and texting me expressing their dissatisfaction. We spent hours asking ourselves, why her??? There were so many others who had better qualifications, who were more reliable and responsible and deserved the post, but how come the dotty bimbo got it? Sigh.... I don't question God's work, but I need to know why... What were the bosses thinking? How could they make this huge mistake? The unfairness is unbearable... having the brainless bimbo in the top management could only mean one thing - We are doomed! :p




Thursday, April 23, 2009

things people do for love...

They are both divorcees. He is with 2 daughters and she has 3. They are close friends. They confide in each other. Gradually he falls in love with her. She was an ex-model who now works in a bank. She is stunningly beautiful, but with very low self-esteem especially after the separation. Somehow she didn't get the custody of the kids and has been in devastated state eversince. She doesn't earn much, now lives with her parents and has to travel far to her workplace. She is vulnerable and lost in life. He is lost in love and this makes him vulnerable. He tried lots of things to win her heart. He used lots of tricks to woo her. At one point he proposed her, asked her hands to cling to his eternally... but... she said no. She wasn't ready. His ego was bruised but he did not give up. They are still friends. She needs him as her pillar, he wants her to be his sheila.

He always showers her with gifts, flowers, motivational books and what not. Hoping she would see how sincere he is towards her, how hopelessly in love he is with her. He gives her motivation to face the odds, provides her shoulders to cry on when she breaks down, shares his strength when she is at her weakest point, lifts her up when she is falling apart. His life revolves around her (besides his 2 gorgeous angels). Still, she wants him only as friend. He has come to the point that he just wants her to be happy. He would do anything to see her joyous smile. He loves her so much, it hurts.

He believes (or maybe I made him believe?) that the core of her problem is money. She lacks of it. If she has more money, she can get a house nearby the office, hence, less travelling. If she has more money, she can show to her ex that she is financially stable and can afford to take care of her daughters. She misses them terribly and wants to be with them always. If she has more money, she can buy a laptop and do her work from home and spend more time with her kids. If she has more money, she can pamper herself more, hence, makes her happier. Money is not everything, yes, but everything is money. Upon, realising this, he knew he had to do something. Oh, no, he could not just give her money. She wouldn't accept it. So, he came up with an idea (it was actually MY idea!) to create a job for her. A part-time job as his Personal Assistant. No, he didn't need one actually, but he did it in the name of love. He made up stories of being awfully busy and offered her the job. She eagerly accepted it! She was so keen and wanted to start asap! She was extremely excited! He was extremely relieved ! He planned to buy her a laptop and pay her RM500 a month. All comes from his own money!!! He told me that he wasn't really sure what he wanted her to do actually. Maybe just updating his schedules and writing memos for the time being. Wow! RM500 a month and a laptop just by doing that??? He didn't care he said. He just wanted her to be happy. That's enough for him. He is not expecting anything in return from her. It's ok if they just remain friends. He is happy when she is happy. He would do anything for her.. Anything for love..

Hmmm........ That's the story of my friend. Is he a fool foolishly in love? Or a desperate man who let love conquers all? Or a sweet guy with a sincere heart that put others first before him?

Hmmm........

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

:-)

It was a good break. Actually I planned to just buy things at Ikea, do my hair at D'Curve, catch some movies with my cousins and the rest just relaxing at my sister's place and finish the book that I bought last week. But, I only managed to do the first two and about that relaxing part, well, how to relax when we were always moving from one mall to another? hehe... Nevertheless it was all worth it.

I bought a fancy mirror for my Lady Boss. We thought of doing glass painting on it then ask her to hang it up on her office wall. I used to do glass painting with Sheeda 3 years ago. We even made money out of it! But when Sheeda moved to JB, we stopped doing it. Don't know whether we still got the skills or not.. hmmm... Anyway, I mms my friends before we settled on this unique mirror which we called 'sistem galaksi'.. hahaha... or should it be called 'sistem suria' instead? hahahaha... Cantik tak?;D (masa tangkap gambar ni angle tak betul la.. hehehe)

From the malls, I bagged a pair of jeans and a nice top; from jalan TAR, I got some tudungs for myself, my sis and my close friends. Since Mother's Day and Father's Day are approaching, my sisters and I bought early gifts for my parents. A wrist watch for dad and a pair of yellow shoes with a matching handbag for mom (I think I just bought brown shoes and handbag for mom a couple of months ago!). I wonder what colour that mom does not have yet... hmm...

Oh, my brother and his new wife tagged along. So far things are getting better among us. My eldest sister was the one with the loudest objection on the marriage but all the while we were in KL she chatted merrily with them! That was a relief! Just hope that it will last.

We left KL after maghrib on Monday feeling good, blessed and contented... and lazy to go to work the next day! hahahah...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

short breakaway

Am going to KL today for a short break and to be with my family. Due to the career project that I had been working on for 10 months (or maybe more), I seldom spend time with them. I was always busy and away. So, it's high time to be with my sisters and brother and all the ipar duai and nephews and nieces. Plus, I need to go to Ikea to buy something for Lady Boss to cheer her up. Something terrible happened to her a couple of days ago. She's been really upset and she couldn't hold her tears during the emergency meeting that we had after that terrible thing. We felt awfully sorry for her, thus, some of us decided to buy her something. She's a fan of ikea, so there is where I'm gonna be this weekend.
So, KL folks, here I come....!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

it's about time...

It was a bit tense at work this morning.. Well at least for me and another 2 of my colleagues. It started when I was told that I had to do this one task. I refused to do it because I had enough on my plate already. plus, I had done my part last month and now it was supposed to be done by another colleague. And what made me angrier was that I was the last to know about it because the person in charge forgot to hand me the memo.
So I went to confront this person who we call 'Hell' (a short form of her name). Told her the task was wrongly given to me and that had I was tied with another task. Told her that MK should be doing it not me. She then said if that was the case, then I had to tell MK myself for she didn't dare to order M because she would go beserk. What???
"You are the one in charge, you should tell her, not me! And why didn't I get this memo?"
"Sorry, I forgot to give it to you. You were attending another meeting so I only gave to those who came to our meeting" (for god's sake my meeting was just next door to hers!)
"If I were to get this earlier I would have gone beserk before M and today wouldn't happen!"
Hell went quiet. MK was on leave today. Another colleague, CML, came. She was appointed to carry out the task too. Both of us had to do it. The thing is I did it ON MY OWN last month. It should be MK and CML's baby this time around. And what's worse, CML's part only consisted 30% of the task and I had to do the rest!!!
"Hei, I know I'm being difficult. I'm sorry for being difficult. But this is the first time I'm being difficult. It IS about time I'm being difficult! It is just not fair! And I still have another thing that I have to do!" I could still control my voice. My voice rose a bit but hadn't gone to yelling yet. Everybody was looking at us now. It is true! everybody in that room including Hell knew that this was the first time I refused to do anything. Before, I would just accept anything being handed to me. I grumbled sometimes but I would still do it.
"Look, I have made my point. You are in charge so you figure out how to do this. I still wont do it." Then I walked away.
I was just about ten steps away when Hell called. Together with CML, she ran after me. Seems that CML volunteered to do the bigger part, so now I only had to do the smaller part. Gosh, Hell is a nitwit. It is not about who does what, I just don't want to do it!
"Please agree with this. I cannot ask MK to do it. She wouldn't compromise. She would scream if I asked her to do it" Apa punya ketua dia ni, takut nak bagi arahan?
"And you think I would compromise? I want to scream too!" I tried to walk away again. But CML stopped me and tried to talk me into in. Hell left assuming that CML would be able to reason with me. I didn't want to argue anymore. I just told CML that I would think about it.
Aaarrgggghhhhh.. .geramnya!!! Just because I am not as fierce as MK, I can be bullied? helllooooo!!!!! I won't let anybody to take advantage on me! No way! I will continue being difficult! :P

Saturday, April 11, 2009

life is a box of contradictions...

Just got back from dinner with the Big Boss. It was a celebration for his promotion. He was glowing with proud and joy the whole evening. He deserves the promotion. He's been working very hard to be where he is now. I honestly happy for him and actually pray for his success.
Funny how life is. I've been working for him for 8 years now. I got promoted in 2004 and work directly under him ever since then. It was difficult. Really difficult. I couldn't understand him. Couldn't meet him. Couldn't figured him out. I tried my very best to please him but failed miserably. He once humilated me in front of everybody, scolded me in a meeting, cancelled my prog at the last minute and that's only to name a few. I finally gave up then. I didn't quit though, I just stopped figuring him out, stop trying to please him and make him proud of me. I just did what I was supposed to do and tried avoiding as much conflict as possible. Last year I thought I would be replaced, but no.. he kept me. He gave me another chance to prove myself! I was grateful, yes, and determined to do much much better this time around. Then I met GP and he broke loose the secret of winning your Boss' heart. Not just any Boss, but MY Big Boss. From GP I learnt that I had an ego bigger than my head and always thought that I was smarter hence refused to accept criticism. Shame on me...
Thank God I'm a fast learner and within months things started to improve. When Big Boss got to know about my 'career project' he wasn't keen at all. He wasn't sure I was cut out for it. But, seeing my determination he supported me but of course I had to prove myself to him. That was why I worked doubly hard for his project that turned out to be a blast which rewards him his promotion tonight. Through GP's advice and guidence I slowly meeting my Big Boss in the middle. I can't say I understand him completely but at least I know what he likes and doesn't like and I now have a list of the dos and the don'ts. We communicate better and feel more at ease with each other. He even jokes with me and I feel more relax with him.
When I didnt get the job, I sent him a text informing him about it, telling him that I'm gonna be ok and will not give up. He gave me a beautiful message after that:
"Oren, don't worry. The world is full of contradictions. There will be no 'up' if there is no 'down'. Along the way we shall accumulate lots of experience that would bring good for our future. you are still our ****** whom we are proud of. We are behind you always."
So, tonight after the dinner, after almost everybody had left the room, he came to my table, sat next to me and we had little chat. I congratulated him again and we talked about his new job scope. He thanked me but I told him I should be thanking him instead for all the things he had taught me. We smiled. It felt good. I felt great. Things are looking up between us. Alhamdulillah..
I thank you God.. and I thank GP...
GP.... hmmm.....

Friday, April 10, 2009

life is a basket of fruits...

Hmmm... Banyak giler nak story kat sini.. Yelah, dah dekat sebulan tak update blog.. I was in a daze like for a week or two, then on adrenaline the next 10 days... Baru hari ni betul-betul ada masa dan ada mood nak menulis... Now, where to start ye?
Yeah.. My career project.. Nope.. I didnt get it.. Yup. It slipped away from my hand... I was ok at first when they told me the news. I just smiled and said that it was just not my rezeki and I would move on. But when friends and more friends kept on asking me what happened, why I didnt get it, why si polan si polan yg dapat when it was supposed to be mine, I just couldnt handle it. I broke down. I hated it! I hate being weak or seen weak. But I am only human. I hate crying in front of people but I did that day. Twice, boleh??? The next few days I kept on asking myself and God too, what did I do wrong. I worked hard for it. I didnt use dirty tricks to get it. And I used the right channel. So, why those who are less industrious, incredibly dirty and shamelessly cunning got the job that I wanted? Well, the answer is right there! because they are awfully dirty and outrageously cunning! Hmm... I wanted to use more filthy words here but... Hei, it's their rezeki kan... Itu yang tersurat...
Anyway, as I said earlier I was lost for more than a week. It was hard for me to face people especially those who got the jobs (more than one job were up for grabs actually). I had a plastic smile plastered on my face when I was actually hurting inside. No, I didnt want to be friendly with them, but I had to. No, I didnt want to shake hands with them, but I did it anyway. No, I didnt want to congratulate them but I said it without stuttering. I became numb after that... GP (the one who broke my heart - will talk more about him in one of the entries) tried to console me... He failed at first.. Then he gave me these inspiring profound words:
'Sun Yat Sen failed 10 times and only succeeded during 11th attempt to become the president in modern China.'
'Few people travel the road to success without a puncture or two.'
'The rung of a ladder is never meant to be rested upon but to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other foot somewhat higher'
Those motivating words helped me to move on. Thanx GP! Lagipun I believe God has better plans for me... As I said in my last entry, 'everything happens for a reason'... oh, and I thank the author of the book 'Setengah Berisi Setengah Kosong' too.. The book taught me a lot in looking at life positively.
So, here I am today, holding my head high and am giving everybody a sincere smile while taking big steps forward. It's a fruitful life and I'm savouring it...