life is a basket of fruits...

Hmmm... Banyak giler nak story kat sini.. Yelah, dah dekat sebulan tak update blog.. I was in a daze like for a week or two, then on adrenaline the next 10 days... Baru hari ni betul-betul ada masa dan ada mood nak menulis... Now, where to start ye?

Yeah.. My career project.. Nope.. I didnt get it.. Yup. It slipped away from my hand... I was ok at first when they told me the news. I just smiled and said that it was just not my rezeki and I would move on. But when friends and more friends kept on asking me what happened, why I didnt get it, why si polan si polan yg dapat when it was supposed to be mine, I just couldnt handle it. I broke down. I hated it! I hate being weak or seen weak. But I am only human. I hate crying in front of people but I did that day. Twice, boleh??? The next few days I kept on asking myself and God too, what did I do wrong. I worked hard for it. I didnt use dirty tricks to get it. And I used the right channel. So, why those who are less industrious, incredibly dirty and shamelessly cunning got the job that I wanted? Well, the answer is right there! because they are awfully dirty and outrageously cunning! Hmm... I wanted to use more filthy words here but... Hei, it's their rezeki kan... Itu yang tersurat...

Anyway, as I said earlier I was lost for more than a week. It was hard for me to face people especially those who got the jobs (more than one job were up for grabs actually). I had a plastic smile plastered on my face when I was actually hurting inside. No, I didnt want to be friendly with them, but I had to. No, I didnt want to shake hands with them, but I did it anyway. No, I didnt want to congratulate them but I said it without stuttering. I became numb after that... GP (the one who broke my heart - will talk more about him in one of the entries) tried to console me... He failed at first.. Then he gave me these inspiring profound words:

'Sun Yat Sen failed 10 times and only succeeded during 11th attempt to become the president in modern China.'

'Few people travel the road to success without a puncture or two.'

'The rung of a ladder is never meant to be rested upon but to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other foot somewhat higher'

Those motivating words helped me to move on. Thanx GP! Lagipun I believe God has better plans for me... As I said in my last entry, 'everything happens for a reason'... oh, and I thank the author of the book 'Setengah Berisi Setengah Kosong' too.. The book taught me a lot in looking at life positively.

So, here I am today, holding my head high and am giving everybody a sincere smile while taking big steps forward. It's a fruitful life and I'm savouring it...