Saturday, October 3, 2009

Dugaan di bulan Syawal....

Tak faham la..... Mengapa sesetengah orang tu, bila sudah dibantu, masih tak sedar diuntung? bukan sekali bantuan yang diberikan, malahan berkali-kali dari setiap segi! Kita cuba bantu dari setiap sumber yang kita tahu, malahan duit poket sendiri pun kita keluarkan agar keluarga yang kurang berkemampuan itu dapat makan sesuap nasi dan anak2 dapat ke sekolah.. Tup! Tup! Kita dikatakan memaksa mereka menerima bantuan tersebut? Kita pulak dikatakan tidak prihatin? Kita pula dituduh tidak memahami keperluan mereka? Sedih... kecewa... fed up... itulah yang aku rasa sekarang...

Kalau setakat bual mulut sahaja, aku boleh diamkan saja... tapi ini dah diwar-warkan dalam akhbar tempatan!!! Bukan nak mengungkit, tapi seingat aku sejak 5 tahun yang lalu, setiap kali raya, aku dan kawan2 berikan bantuan samada dari segi wang ringgit mahupun barangan keperluan. Malahan apabila anak sulungnya hendak mengambung pelajaran ke luar negara tahun lalu, aku dan kawan2 turut memberi bantuan kewangan.. Mungkin tak banyak, tetapi pasti dapat meringankan beban. Tahun ini pula, 2 orang anaknya diberikan bantuan pendidikan iaitu duit tunai untuk membayar yuran persekolahan. Untuk raya kali ini, rumahnya dicat oleh aku dan kawan2 dan sofa baru kami berikan. Separuh hari aku pergi dari sebuah kedai ke sebuah kedai perabot. Duit yang diperuntukan tak banyak, namun kerana ingin merealisasikan impian keluarga ini aku cari juga sofa yang baru, terkini tetapi mampu milik. Kerana bajet tak banyak, aku memohon kawan2 untuk menyumbangkan barangan 2nd hand yang masih baik. Hasilnya, aku dan kawan2 dapat mengumpulkan langsir yang memang cantik dan 2 helai karpet yang sedondon dengan warna sofa tersebut. Mereka kelihatan gembira apabila mendapat barangan tersebut. Aku dan kawan2 dua kali ganda gembiranya. Namun kerana kesuntukan masa, kami cuma dapat cat di bahagian depan rumah dahulu. Niat di hati, selepas raya, akan disambung semula. Baru seminggu berlalu selepas cuti raya.. Aku baru saja nak 'set time' dengan tukang cat untuk teruskan kerja2 mengecat. Tetapi kerana aku terpaksa berkursus di pantai, terpaksa dipostponekan. Tiba2 sudah keluar di dada akhbar tempatan yang aku dan kawan2 telah mengeksploitasikan keluarga ini untuk kepentingan sendiri!!! Adil ke? Patut ke? Ikut hati, hendak saja aku pergi ke rumah family itu dan bagi sepatah dua kata... Ikut emosi, nak saja tarik balik bantuan yang diberi... Ikut amarah, nak saja berhentikan bantuan selepas ini.. Tapi, bila teringatkan anak2 yang masih bersekolah itu, langkah terus jadi kaku... Memang ingin bersemuka dengan family itu, tapi aku perlu kekuatan.. aku takut didepan mereka akan berderai air mata ini... Tunggulah sahari dua lagi...

Namun kepada Allah yang maha Esa, aku berdoa, janganlah rasa kecewa ini membantutkan hasrat aku untuk membantu mereka yang memerlukan... Janganlah peristiwa ini menghalang aku untuk terus berbakti sedaya mungkin... Aku perlu tabah.. Namun hati ini memang terhiris dan menangis sendiri...

Friday, October 2, 2009

Allah The Almighty...

Dari FB... Sekadar bahan bacaan untuk kita berfikir... Dia lebih mengetahui.

BismillahAllahummasolli'alamuhammad wa'alaalimuhammad Salamun 'alaikum

“Gempa di Padang jam 17.16, gempa susulan 17.58, esoknya gempa di Jambi jam 8.52. Coba lihat Al-Qur’an!” demikian bunyi pesan singkat yang beredar. Siapa pun yang membuka Al-Qur’an dengan tuntunan pesan singkat tersebut akan merasa kecil di hadapan Allah Swt.

Demikian ayat-ayat Allah Swt tersebut:
17.16 (QS. Al Israa’ ayat 16): “Dan jika Kami hendak membinasakan suatu negeri, maka Kami perintahkan kepada orang-orang yang hidup mewah di negeri itu (supaya mentaati Allah) tetapi mereka melakukan kedurhakaan dalam negeri itu, maka sudah sepantasnya berlaku terhadapnya perkataan (ketentuan Kami), kemudian Kami hancurkan negeri itu sehancur-hancurnya.”

17.58 (QS. Al Israa’ ayat 58): “Tak ada suatu negeri pun (yang durhaka penduduknya), melainkan Kami membinasakannya sebelum hari kiamat atau Kami azab (penduduknya) dengan azab yang sangat keras. Yang demikian itu telah tertulis di dalam kitab (Lauh Mahfuz).”

8.52 (QS. Al Anfaal: 52): (Keadaan mereka) serupa dengan keadaan Fir’aun dan pengikut-pengikutnya serta orang-orang sebelumnya. Mereka mengingkari ayat-ayat Allah, maka Allah menyiksa mereka disebabkan disebabkan dosa-dosanya. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuat lagi Amat Keras siksaan-Nya.”

Tiga ayat Allah Swt di atas, yang ditunjukkan tepat dalam waktu kejadian tiga gempa kemarin di Sumatera, berbicara mengenai azab Allah berupa kehancuran dan kematian, dan kaitannya dengan hidup bermewah-mewah dan kedurhakaan, dan juga dengan keadaan Fir’aun dan pengikut-pengikutnya.

Subhanallah....

Sunday, September 27, 2009

my friend is a real asshole!

HE IS MEAN!!!! And I dont like it at all!!! He's changed... He was nice to me when we were together... before he got married. Very seldom he condemned me or said awful things to me.. Then he disappered and one day he came back and decided to have a permanent string attached to him. I was a bit devastated but gradually i became my old self again. We didnt see each other much after that.. I told him we shouldnt be as close as before for women tend to be very jealous when there's another woman in their man's life. We occasionally meet and call and text each other. Recently we 'met' on FB and starting chatting there.. That was when the mean words starting to flow freely from him.. A first, I though he was just teasing me.. u know, make stupid jokes.. but now those words are not funny anymore. He claimed to be my bestfriend and knew me well, but obviously he is now very mean towards me... He made insensitive comments on FB, touched on private issues when he knew other people could read them! He's a jerk!!! And I dont like the 'new' him!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

am back......

wow... dah hampir 2 bulan aku tak menulis apa2 di blog ni... bukannya takde cerita, tapi... entah nape takde mood dan inspirasi untuk menulis... atau mungkin terlalu sibuk melayan facebook? hehehe....
Life is still the same for me... N0w very busy with work.. A big event is coming up next weekend, thus, as the event manager, i'm giving my heart and soul to this one.. Lucky for me, my team this year is much better than the previous year... Yeah, i've been managing this event for years now... It's the most awaited annual dinner and every year i make sure it is more stupendous than the years before. And the theme for this year is Disney Masquerade. We are trying to bring Tarzan and his jungle into one part of the hall. There will be a small section for Narnia covered with 'snow'. The house of 'UP' has been made and is waiting to be lifted by balloons. Cinderella's castle is stiil in the progress and we have found a big mirror for Snow White's scene. Mermaid's underwater kingdom is still in blueprint and will be brouht up life next week. The ever famous Jack Sparrow's Black Pearl is ready to be assembled. Guests have been reminded to have their masks ready and encouraged to follow the theme. It's gonna be great this time around.. I'm sure of it and I am extremely excited!!!
But............ I have to attend a 3 day course next week and will be back 2 days before the event. I hope my co-event manager would be able to take care of things while i'm away... hmmmm...
Most if the time, I spent my time with my family... Mom just had a minor operation a week before raya. She had her womb removed. She's doing ok now but not as active as she used to be.. Eversince the operation, she becomes more sensitive and vulnerable. She cries easily and always looks sad. I was hoping she would be happier now that she is finally going to mecca for haj this november.. Both mak and abah are going.. We are now busy preparing stuff for haj.. However, mak acts as if she's not coming back... That worries me very much... I pary to Allah swt for mak and abah's safety. More importantly, i hope they will be able to perform their haj smoothly... insyaallah....

Saturday, August 1, 2009

kebodohan yang nyata...

Hari ni ada demonstrasi pasal ISA kat KL... Yang anti ISA (pihak pembangkang - PAS, DAP, PKR) berkumpul di depan SOGO.. Yang pro ISA (NGO) berkumpul di area Central Market... Aku tak sokong mana-mana pun.. Aku tak pernah membaca buku atau risalah atau pape, yang menerangkan apa sebenarnya ISA... Aku cuma tahu ISA diwujudkan untuk memastikan keselamatan negara. ISA menahan mereka yang didapati boleh mengancam kemanan dan keselamatan negara. Aku pasti kebanyakan mereka yang menyertai demo anti ISA pun macam aku juga.. Mereka tak memahami apa-apa selain apa yang diberitahu kepada mereka.. Mereka disuapkn dengan provokasi, cerita yang tidak benar dan fakta yang telah ditunggang terbalikkan.. Bak kata seorang blogger "kita memang malas membaca...hanya mengikut...ikut pun tak tahu apa yang diikut..orang berteriak, kita berteriak, orang melompat, kita melompat tapi tak sedar seluar terlondeh, orang ketawakan kita,tapi kita terus melompat..."
Mereka memanupulasi dan dimanipulasi. Hasilnya? Demo jalanan, huru hara, gas pemedih mata, lebih ramai yang ditangkap dan ditahan pihak berkuasa. Kesannya? Menggugat ekonomi negara, menggugat keharmonian bangsa, menjadikan Malaysia sama je dengan Thailand dan Indonesia dan negara haru biru yang lain!

Dengan sedikit pengetahuan umum yang aku ada pasal ISA, aku percaya ianya patut diteruskan, namun mungkin perlaksaaannya perlu digubal balik. Walaupun kita ada undang-undang negara tetapi secara realitinya kadang-kadang kita tak boleh bergantung sepenuhnya kepada undang-undang tersebut.. Adakalanya kita terpaksa melakukan sesuatu dengan undang-undang kita sendiri asalkan kita ada valid reason for it.. Seorang kawan yang juga seorang peguam menulis "ISA bukan sahaja untuk keselamatan dalam negeri sahaja tetapi ISA boleh menyelamatkan org kita yang sedang dalam buruan pihak luar negeri. Contohnya, ISA telah menyelamatkan Nik Abduh daripada di Guatanamo kan oleh CIA jahannam" Sebab tu la ISA diwujudkan pada pahaman aku... Tapi, mungkin caranya ada kalanya nampak tak kena dan ianya memberikan persepsi buruk kepada kerajaan memerintah.. Seperti pendapat seorang blogger "sedikit arak/wine adalah baik utk kesihatan tetapi sifat manusia yang pelupa dan tamak, maka arak telah disalahgunakan, maka ianya diharamkan oleh allah swt. begitu juga ISA yg asalnya untuk menyekat dan menghapuskan pengaruh komunis telah disalahgunakan dan berlaku penyelewengan" Sebab itulah aku rasa ianya patut digubal semula dan dimurnikan.

Walau apapun, aku memang tak setuju kaedah demo jalanan digunakan. Ianya langsung tidak memberi jalan penyelesaian. Aku tak faham kenapa para pengdemo ni tidak berjumpa sahaja dengan pemimpin atasan, duduk berbincang dan memberikan cadangan-cadangan bernas untuk meleraikan kemelut ISA ini... Kenapa mereka tidak boleh menjadi rasional dan profesional? Mengapa mesti menggunakan emosi dan bertindak bodoh? Tapi tahu tak apa yang lebih bodoh dan mengecewakan? Seperti kata seorang temanku "yang paling menyedihkan ialah...yang bersusah payah berdemo nanti..majoritinya org2 melayu dan yang bakal mendapat faedah daripada jika ISA dihapuskan ialah majoritinya pelampau-pelampau Cina dan India (termasuklah segelintir kecil melayu) contohnya hindraf dll...sekali lagi org2 melayu diperalat..." Bangsaku DIPERALATKAN! Dan mereka langsung tidak menyedarinya! Itulah yang paling mengecewakan.. :(

Sunday, July 19, 2009

forbidden love.... part one

I am falling for a married man!

I met him about 6 years ago during a course. I had heard about him before but had never met him in person. I knew he was attending the course too, so, I took his number from a friend for I knew I might need his help to find my way. True enough, I was lost. And he was really nice and helpful. It was a three days and 2 nights course. We didnt say a word to each other during the course for there were so many people and it felt inapropriate. The last nite we were there, he asked me to dine with him. It was a very memorable dinner and I could still replay the whole thing vivdly in my mind! No, we didnt have it at a fancy restaurant or eat an expensive meal. It was simple, but we talked and talked and talked till late hours. He was a man with lots of experiences and I just loved listening to his stories.

We continued contacting each other after that. When he came to Ipoh, we would have coffee together. If I went to KL, we would dine together. He was a charming man. There was this one time when he was already on his way back to KL from his kampung in Lumut, but because I wanted to talk to him, he pulled the handbrake and came to Ipoh. When I was attending a one week course in KL and didnt have a car to move about, he trusted me with his. This beautiful bond between us continued for almost a year. I was starting to fall for him then eventhough I knew he was taken. I remember this one time when I went to KL for Raya shopping and we met to break fast at KLCC. Surprisingly, we both wore brown top and pants. The dinner was superbly delicious, errr.. he looked delicious too!!! hehe... We talked and talked and talked.. I guess we just loved talking and liked each other's company. When we wanted to go home, the rain had just started pouring down. We ran to his car (he parked outside of KLCC) in the rain. Adus, macam citer hindustan, boleh?? huhu..! In his car I asked him about us and whether his other half knew about our meetings. He assured me that I had nothing to worry about. The truth is, he never said THE 3 words to me but he always made me feel special. So, the relationship was not official. I kept asking myself: Do I want to make it official? Do I want to interfere with the life he has built with this woman who knew him before me. Am I ready to be called the Bitch? And the anwer was NO. Slowly, I close down the connecting bridge between us... Less phone calls and sms and almost no meeting at all. Some how he understood and he obliged.
I stopped thinking about him. Stopped fantasizing him. Stopped dreaming of him.
Until recently....

Friday, July 10, 2009

not too obsessed

Alamak... Obsessed shouldnt be shown on cinema la... It is more like an HBO movie je... It was not terribly boring but just ok. That's how to describe it.. just OK. Or could it be because I expected a lot from Beyonce? I bet it wont hit the box office...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

To marry or not to marry...

Received a call from a dear friend. She was in a dilemma. She had a boyfriend, a married man. They had been seeing each other for nearly a year. My friend believed it was time to tie a knot. She didn't want to wait anymore for she was not getting any younger. She did not mind to become the second wife. So, the boyfriend told his wife of his intention and wanted her blessing. The answer was a big NO. He sadly brought the news to my friend and begged his girlfriend to let things be as they are. No string attached but no doubt the LOVE is there. As a woman, my friend couldnt just live on love and being somebody's secret lover. She felt her boyfriend did not try hard enough to get his wife's blessing. She was devastated. Tension was building up. She didnt want to break up but she needed to break away for a while. And while doing that, she met her chatting friend. They saw each other for coffee twice. And they hit it off. He didnt waste any time. He proposed. Unfortunately, he also had a wedding band on his finger. my friend refused to give any answer before he got the blessing from his wife. He did as told. And got the blessing after much persuasion and argument. But my friend was still indecisive. She still loved the first boyfriend and she felt she was moving too fast with the second bf. However whe knew the first couldnt give her the title that she wanted whereas the second seemed very serious to make her his.

She called me with this dilemma and asked for advice. Well, I was no expert but I believe both of the men are not good enough for her. she deserves someone better. My reason was: The first one was obviously selfish. He wanted a wife at home and a girlfriend outside. Typical male species! I dont see any point of being in the relationship that is lopesided. The second one was too gelojoh. Plus, he didnt make much, hence was actually unable to give ample 'nafkah zahir'. He said, he could only give around RM200 monthly to my friend if they were married. The rest, my friend who earned more, had to endure on her own. I have this belief that, when you are married, your life should be upgraded, not, downgraded. Money is not everything, but everything is money. Yes, I may sound materialistic but I am being realistic.

So, I asked her to take her time before making any decision. She must get to know the second bf well enough before saying I do. The most important thing, she must be ready to change her life completely! She must be ready not to compare herself with other wives whose husband can afford to buy things for them, but my friend has to buy things for herself. But, actually what I fear the most is that the second bf might want to live on HER money. It happens everywhere nowadays. Honestly, I didnt help her much... like I said, I am no expert.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

lean on me...

I had never watched 'LEAN ON ME'. I knew it was a good movie. Well, almost all Morgan Freeman's movies are good and worth watching. So, today, while I was browsing the movies on Astro, I saw that particular title queeing up for the next show. Got all my house chores done and then I was ready in front of the tube.

It was a very moving story. I was overwhelmed by the determination of Mr. Joe Clark (Freeman) as the principal to change his school and his students for the betterment no matter what the obstacles were. I cried watching the movie, boleh??? hehe.. semakin tua semakin vulnerable and touchy lah... hmm....

Anyway, below is one of Clark's brilliant speeches which I got from one of the websites:

Next time it may be you. If you do no better than they did (referring to the students cum gangsters and drug dealers who were just being expelled) , next time it will be you. They said this school was dead, like the cemetery it's built on. But we call our East Side teams "ghosts," don't we? And what are ghosts? Ghosts are spirits that rise from the dead. I want you to be my ghosts. You are going to lead our resurrection by defying the expectation that all of us are doomed to failure.
My motto is simple: If you do not succeed in life, I don't want you to blame your parents. I don't want you to blame the white man! I want you to blame yourselves! The responsibility is yours!!
In two weeks we have a practice exam and a minimum basic skills test on April 13th. That's a hundred and ten school days from now. But it's not just about those test scores. If you do not have these basic skills, you will find yourselves locked out! Locked out of that American Dream that you see advertised on TV -- that they tell you is so easy to get.

You are here for one reason -- one reason only: To learn, to work for what you want. The alternative is to waste your time and to fall into the trap of crime, drugs, and death. Does everyone understand that? Do all of you understand me?! Then welcome to the new East Side High!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

bursts of laughter


I woke up feeling great and grateful to God for still breathing and having my heart beating. My numbers are adding up but I'm ok with it.. really! ;D

I drove to work knowing it was going to be a great day and I was right. Everybody at work not only wished me Happy Birthday, but they also sang me the song! I was overwhelmed! I smiled and laughed the whole day. Since they knew I love cheesecake very much, I received 5 slices of different cheesecake, boxes of chocolates (yeah, they are really good at making me grow bigger and bigger!), an organiser (which I appreciate very much coz my old one only has a few pages left) and some cards. Then I spent a couple of hours thanking each friend who sent me wishes through Facebook and sms.

Later in the evening, my friends picked me up for my 'burst'day dinner. We went to this new restaurant and ordered heaps od food! Boleh bagi makan satu kampung! We ate and talked and ate and bitched about stuff and laughed. It was good to be with dear friends on this special day.

I spent my 'burstday'day with bursts of laughter with smashing buddies... I feel great and blessed!

Friday, June 26, 2009

the eve...

My birthday is tomorrow... It falls on Saturday this year, so, I should be going out celebrate with friends tonite right? But I have to go to work tomorrow! Darn! So, what did i do tonite? Just a quiet and simple dinner with a friend whose birthday is today. Actually we had planned to celebrate our birthdays for years, but never seemed to find the chance to do so. Entah mcam mana, tetiba malam ni boths of us were free. So, we went out just now.. had dinner at SR. Because we had not seen each other for quite some time, we ate less but talked and talked and talked till we were the last one to leave the restaurant. It wasn't that late actually, but SR closes at 10pm. Then we headed home. That was all... hmm....

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

want the NEW thing...

I have to find a new interest la... a new hobby perhaps... a new love... a new life... I dont care what or who but it has to be new! I'm becoming more and more bored with almost everything.. I am somehow losing the excitement in everything.. Life has become a routine, thus I procrastinate more and more.. Life has become mundane, thus I enjoy it less and less... Nowadays I spend more time indoor than outdoor... spend more time staring at the PC screen than going out with friends.. spend more time with the idiot box than have good cups of coffee with buddies... Pathetic... Unhealthy... Sucks!

Change I must... Enjoy life more I should... Be happier I will..!!!
First, need to find that 'new' thing... what could it be? what would I want it to be? hmmm.....

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Al fatihah..

Sebentar tadi baru je terima panggilan telefon dari seorang sahabat.. Abahnya yang menderita barah hati akhirnya menghembuskan nafas terakhir pada jam 6.50 petang. Pakcik Z dah 2-3 bulan terlantar di atas katil... 3-4 kali juga aku melawatnya.. Setiap kali pun menitis air mata melihat keadaannya yang semakin teruk saban hari.. Kali terakhir melawatnya perutnya dah semakin kembung kerana hati yang bengkak.. mata dan seluruh badan dah bertukar warna kuning.. Kepada sahabat aku tu, aku bisikkan kepadanya supaya bersedia untuk menghadapi sebarang kemungkinan, kerana melihatkan keadaannya aku tau, dah tak lama dah untuk dia pergi menemui penciptanya. Senang diucapkan dengan kata-kata, tetapi yang menanggungnya saja yang tahu kesedihan menyedari masa yang ada semakin berlalu pergi..

Pakcik Z aku anggap macam bapa aku sendiri.. Dia banyak membantu dan menyokong aku dan kawan-kawan dalam kerja amal kami. Dia seorang yang ceria dan selalu berjenaka. Seorang yang sangat disenangi dan sentiasa tersenyum. Kerana itu kehilangannya dirasai dan diratapi. Namun daripada dia terus menderita sakit, adalah baik dihentikan kesengsaraannya. Mungkin itulah yang terbaik untuk Pakcik Z.

Sahabat aku ini sangat rapat dan manja dengan abahnya ini. Selalu nyanyi karaoke di rumah bersama.. selalu dia mengikut abahnya ke kenduri-kenduri kawin sebab abahnya ada buat bisnes PA system dan karaoke kecil-kecilan. Memang susah untuk dia berpisah dengan abahnya. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi mata memikul. Tambahan pula abahnya pergi pada Hari Bapa Sedunia. Memang tragis. Aku doakan roh allahyarham Pakcik Z dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang beriman. Aku doakan sahabat aku ni dan ahli keluarganya dapat mengharungi hari-hari muka dengan penuh ketabahan da kekuatan. Aku doakan yang terbaik untuk semua. Amin.

To my Dad:

Happy Birthday Abah... Nothing compares to you... Love you heaps!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I dream of NZ

A friend just sent me a text informing me that she just got a scholarship to do her master. She might be doing it in New Zealand. She had two options actually, whether to do it in Australia or NZ. But I encouranged her to go to NZ instead... Well, simply because I wish to go there myself. Friends keep telling me that it is a beautiful country, but untill now, still takde rezeki to set my feet there.

I would love to do my master in NZ too. In fact, 2 years ago, I googled the courses that they have there and found one that I liked in the University of Auckland. They even sent me a catalogue on their university. I was really impressed and was ready to work my ass off to get the fund. However, something got in the way. And I had to choose. And I chose to postpone Auckland. There is no regret in my decision. I knew Auckland would always be there. I just hope I live long enough to be one of the residents there.

I'm still breathing... Alhamdulillah.. I guess the time has some for me to pave my way to NZ. Better do it now before it is too late.. before more wrickles on my face.. before my studying ability fades away.. ;D

Sunday, June 7, 2009

syoknye cuti!!!

It was a nice break... no, no.. let me rephrase that. It was a syok one!

It was good to finally be able to spend time with my nephew and nieces. We didn't do much actually.. Just went for breakfast and lunches (I had my dinners with friends), watched tv together, did grocery shopping at the hypermarket and had little chats in the car on their way to their extra classes in school and tuition classes. Enough to pull us a little bit closer!

I enjoyed my dinner with Z who just got back from South Africa. Yup, he went to Cape Town and Johannesburg. Not only my eyes turned green when he told me 'bout his stupendous trip to those places, I actually could feel my whole body turning to that colour! I was extremely jealous and mad! Jealous becoz he went there, and mad becoz he didn't tell me in the first place. I got to know about it from Facebook!!! Some friend he is!

My outing with Sugar was fun! Even though our initial plan, which was to visit Huggies (the one who just lost his leg due to diabetes) was cancelled at the very last minute, we still enjoyed every ticking from 12.03pm t0 err.. 8.57pm! We started our outing with a steamy lunch with Mr. CEO (whom I fancy very much but I have to forget the idea of being romantically involved with him becoz he is, umm... taken). He was looking so darn handsome and yummy in his yellow shirt and goldish tie and that spiky hair style! I didn't eat much.. I was just drooling over him, boleh? hahaha... Sugar and I had our little sweaty adventure in Times Square - we forgot where we parked the car in that huge building! Actually it was my fault for I led Sugar to the wrong escalator.. Well, what can I say... I was busy talking to Mr. CEO that I got confused with the escalator! hehe.. Sorry, Sugar! But it was a good exercise wasn't it? We managed to burn some calories! hehehe... After the wonderful lunch, we hit Isetan in KLCC and Ms. Sugar cum Ms. Shopaholic bought herself two pairs of sexy shoes and 3 pairs of gorgeous tops and one elegant long skirt! Me? I was happy with just one nice top. But the trying part was really fun.. I believe we spent nearly TWO hours trying out ALMOST ALL (a bit exaggerating here, I know.. hehe) the outfits there! The salesgirl was very sweet and honest in giving her opinion on our fitting session. I nearly bought the same long skirt that Sugar bought, but the sweet salesgirl said "akak kata akak dah ada skirt hitam kan? so, tak payah la beli yang ni.." Boleh? Kalau bos u dengar dik, abis u...!!! But, thanks dik! Jimat duit akak! huhu! During dinner we were joined by Mr. Vogue. He updated us on Huggies' condition. Hmm... We really sympathised with him... Hope he's doing much better now... And to Sugar, WE SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN!!!

I managed to have a quick breakfast with Honey and her cute son at Dome, The Curve. We had tea together a few days before when she came to Perak. We didn't eat much but more on talking. And the same happened during breakfast. We talked and talked and talked.. hehe.. Girls are indisputably good at that!

On my last night in KL, my cousin took me out for a quick dinner and a movie. We ate Nando's quarter chicken, fries and salad in 11minutes je, boleh?!!! Well, that was because Terminator: Salvation was waiting for us! We left home quite early but we got stuck in traffic (KL, tau je la kan?), PLUS, we took quite some time finding the cinema in that gargantuan Pavilion! (Nape la diorang ni suka buat shopping complexes besar-besar sangat? Penat berjalan la woi!!!). I must admit that I wasn't thrilled when my cousin told me that we were to watch Connor and his friends fighting some machines, but the movie turned out to be good! Rasa macam tak berkelip je mata ni tengok citer tu... Those who haven't watched it, better book the tickets now!!! Highly recommended!

So, that was pretty much what I did during my 5 days stay in KL. Hope I could do it more often! With more friends hopefully!!! ;D

Sunday, May 31, 2009

taking a break again..

In conjuction with the school break, I'm taking a break too... Not going anywhere special. Just to KL to meet up with some friends and visit a dear friend who just had his right leg amputated due to diabetes... That's a real tragic la.. losing your leg at such a young age when you have a lot of things in front of you... Hope he's doing ok..
I'd better start packing now.. will be leaving in a few hours.. Adios!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

kalau tak sedar juga, tak tahulah nak kata apa....

Tadi ada menerima email dari seorang teman.. Menarik! Sarat dengan kebenaran! Fikir-fikirkanlah....

Subjek: Kisah Benar Seorang Tan Sri

Dalam sebuah majlis, seorang usahawan berbangsa Cina yang juga bergelar Tan Sri sedang ditemuramah oleh seorang wartawan. Duduk berdekatannya adalah 2 orang jurutera, anak beranak berketurunan India yang bekerja dengan syarikat Tan Sri tersebut. Berikut adalah perbualan mereka:-

Tan Sri: Kerajaan perlu bertindak adil dalam pengagihan kek ekonomi negara. Tidak boleh ada diskriminasi terhadap kaum bukan Melayu. Kontrak antara orang Melayu dan bukan Melayu mesti diberikan sama rata demi keadilan. Lagipun bangsa kami banyak menyumbang kepada kemajuan negara walaupun kami digelar sebagai kaum pendatang. Setelah bersusah payah semenjak sebelum merdeka, maka wajarkah kami dinafikan hak sebagai warganegara. Orang Melayu perlu lebih berkompromi dengan kaum lain untuk maju. Liberalisasi perlu dilaksanakan dengan meluas dalam semua sektor demi mencapai kesamarataan antara kaum.

Wartawan: Tan Sri, boleh saya tahu sudah berapa lama dua orang jurutera ini bekerja dengan Tan Sri?

Tan Sri: Oh...sudah lama. Praba ni dah bekerja dengan saya hampir 30 tahun sejak syarikat ni ditubuhkan lagi. Malah anaknya pun sekarang bekerja dengan saya lebih 10 tahun. Mereka ini adalah pekerja saya yang paling berdedikasi dan banyak menyumbang kepada kemajuan syarikat.

Wartawan: Kalau begitu, apa kata Tan Sri berikan sebahagian saham syarikat ni kepada mereka berdua. Lagipun mereka sudah lama bekerja dengan Tan Sri, malah banyak menyumbang kepada syarikat sepertimana kata Tan Sri tadi.

Tan Sri: Eh... Mana boleh! Ini syarikat saya. Lagipun saya dah bayar gaji yang mahal kepada mereka berdua dan saya tak pernah halang pun jika mereka nak kumpul harta. Mana boleh senang-senang saya nak bagi saham syarikat saya pada mereka.

Wartawan: Macam tu jugalah perasaan Melayu. Tanah ini asalnya milik orang Melayu. Milik raja-raja Melayu. Lepas tu orang bukan Melayu macam Tan Sri pulak nak mintak hak sama rata dengan alasan kerana telah banyak menyumbang. Tan Sri rasa wajar atau tidak permintaan tu?

Tan Sri: .................................. (terkedu)

Kisah di atas merupakan sedutan daripada kisah benar yang berlaku dalam sebuah majlis perasmian kilang di Gemas, Negeri Sembilan.

Apa pendapat anda??

p/s: Sudah terang lagi bersuluh... Namun masih ramai Melayu yang tak sedar akan hak hakiki mereka... Sudahlah ketinggalan dari segi ekonomi dan pendidikan.. Satu-satunya peninggalan arwah nenek moyang (hak-hak istimewa org melayu) pun nak dijualnya kepada bangsa lain... Bukan bersikap perkauman, cuma tidak mahu dimasa akan datang Melayu hanya gah pada nama (MALAYsia) tapi akhirnya merempat di bumi sendiri... Pengalaman berada di Papua New Guinea sudah cukup mengajarku untuk memastikan agar bangsaku terus menjadi Tuan di bumi MALAYsia ini.. Jangan pula kita menyesal di kemudian hari...

Saturday, May 23, 2009

syukur alhamdulillah

Zambry kekal Menteri Besar Perak

PUTRAJAYA 22 Mei - Mahkamah Rayuan hari ini mengisytiharkan Datuk Seri Dr. Zambry Abd. Kadir kekal sebagai Menteri Besar Perak yang sah.
Keputusan itu dibuat selepas panel tiga hakim diketuai Hakim Datuk Md. Raus Shariff berpuas hati bahawa Sultan Perak betul ketika melantik Zambry menggantikan Datuk Seri Ir. Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddin pada 6 Februari lalu.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.... Semoga Perak terus makmur selepas ini.. Apa-apapun, Barisan Nasional perlu mengambil ikhtibar dengan apa yang berlaku dan perlu terus merapati rakyat serta memahami kehendak mereka...

All the best to Dato' Seri Dr. Zambry, Barisan Nasional dan UMNO.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Uniknya Perak

Semua bertanya, "apa dah jadi dengan Perak ?". Baik kawan2 dalam Perak sendiri mahupun kawan2 di luar Perak semuanya mahukan jawapan pada soalan tadi. Senario politik di Perak memang mendapat perhatian semua pihak. Kalau orang luar keliru, kami orang2 perak lagikan pula... Sejak PRU12, memamg glamer menjadi orang Perak... ahaks! ;D
Jawapan aku bagi soalan tadi tu senang je... Perak ni unik. Semua yang luar biasa dan penting berlaku di Perak.
a) Siapa yang berani bunuh orang putih (JWW Birch) waktu tengah mandi masa penjajahan british? Orang Perak
b) Siapa yang mewarisi Kesultanan Melaka setelah kejatuhannya akibat pencerobohan Portugis? Orang Perak
c) Di manakah timah mula2 dijumpai? Perak
d) Dimanakah getah mula2 ditanam? Perak
e) Dimanakah jalan keretapi mula2 di bina? Perak
Itu cumalah sebahagiannya. Jadi.. tak hairanlah kalau..
a) negeri manakah yang ada DUA Menteri Besar? Perak
b) negeri manakah yang ada DUA speaker DUN? Perak (Nizar masih anggap Sivakumar sebagai speaker)
c) negeri manakah yang mempunyai DUA ketua pentadbir kampung? Perak (JKKK dan JKKP)
d) Sultan manakah yang dicalar kedaulatannya dan cuba dibawa ke mahkamah oleh Karpal Karam Singh? Sultan Perak
e) Negeri manakah berlaku rusuhan samseng2 jalanan sehingga ada yang sanggup tidur terbaring atas jalan depan Istana pulak tu..? Perak
itu just to name a few la kan....
So, kerana uniknya Perak dari dulu sampai sekarang, maka orang Perak tak perlulah pusing2 kepala dan stress fikir pasal ni... Perak memang tempat sejarah dicipta.. chewah!!! hehe...
Melalui undang-undang, Kerajaan Perak dapat kepada Pakatan Rakyat. Kerana undang-undang juga Barisan Nasional mendapat semula menjadi kerajaan di Perak. Dan kerana undang-undang juga Nizar mendapat semula menjadi Menteri Besar. Namun kerana prosedur undang-undang juga Zambry kekal di kerusi Menteri Besar sehingga hari ini. Insyaallah kerana undang-undang juga segala kekalutan akan berakhir tak lama lagi... Doa aku adalah kepada Barisan Nasional.. ;D
Ramai yang takut dan mengatakan Perak huru hara kerana apa yang berlaku pada persidangan DUN yang lalu. Bagi aku, baik huru hara dalam dewan, jangan huru hara atas jalanan macam di Thailand. Sehingga kini kehidupan di Perak tetap berjalan seperti biasa.. Alhamdulillah....

Saturday, May 9, 2009

:(


Tomorrow is Mom's day but my mom is not feeling well... It's been 5 days now.. I really hope she'll get better soon. :(

Nevertheless, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY Mak!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

K.E.R.J.A

Selepas hujung minggu yang panjang (err... 3 hari tu panjang ke?), esok semua kembali bekerja... Kembali ke dunia yang penuh dengan meetings, paper work, emailing, calling, faxing, short lunch break, rushing here and there meeting the deadline and what not. Apa boleh buat.. semua nak cari makan kan? Kalau tidak, sape nak bayar bil letrik, bil telefon, sewa rumah and all kinds of bills. Sape nak belikan new shoes, clothes, make-up and the list goes on and on. Paling penting, kalau tak kerja, takut miss shoru! tak ke naya? So, kepada semua yang akan balik ke ofis esok, this song here is for you... ( It is actually one of my favourite songs by MUH) ;D

MEET UNCLE HUSSAIN - La La La Kerjalah
La La La Laaa…
La La La La La Laaa…
La La La La La Laaa…
La La La La La Laaa…
La La La La La Laaa…
La La La La La Laaa…
La Laaa… La Laaa…

Ooh! Pening kepala
Memikirkan tak ada kerja
Tanam Anggur
Sijil diploma
Ah! Gantung didinding saja

Ooh! Lega rasanya
Jawat kerja pegawai pemasaran
Di Pertama
Rupa, oh! Rupanya
Kerja am sajaaa!

La La La Laaa… La, hari-hari kerja!
La La La Laaa… Bosan dengan kerja, haha!
La La La Laaa… La, hidup harus kerja, kerja!
La La La Laaa… La, hari-hari kerja!
La La La Laaa… Bosan dengan kerja, haha!
La La La Laaa… La, hidup harus kerja, kerja!

Ooh! Terpinga-pinga
Tak puas lagi beradu, mengantuk
Subuh hingga senja
Ah! Hari-hari sama saja

Ah! Nak bancuh kopi
Tapi gulanya tiada, minum saja
Kerja bagai nak gila
Ah! Tak juga kayaaa!

La La La Laaa… La, hari-hari kerja!
La La La Laaa… Bosan dengan kerja, haha!
La La La Laaa… La, hidup harus kerja, kerja!
La La La Laaa… La, hari-hari kerja!
La La La Laaa… Bosan dengan kerja, haha!
La La La Laaa… La, hidup harus kerja, kerja!

Gelisah, kugelisah
Mengenangkan masa depan
Kuharus kerja
Oh! Mesti kerja
Tiada apa yang percuma
Realiti tika tiada kerja
Oh! Papa kedanaaa!

La La La Laaa… La, hari-hari kerja!
La La La Laaa… Bosan dengan kerja, haha!
La La La Laaa… La, hidup harus kerja, kerja!
La La La Laaa… Hari-hari kerja!
La La La Laaa… Bosan dengan kerja, haha!
La La La Laaa… La, hidup harus kerja, kerja!
La La La Laaa La La…La La La Laaa La La…La La La Laa La La…

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

searching for an answer...

I wasn't in the mood the last couple of days... Received one shocking news where this one particular despicable bimbo got promoted.. Gosh, life is indisputably unfair! How could someone who is unable to do work properly, lack of leadership skill and bias towards her teammates got to be upgraded??? I'm sure she slept her way to the top! Well, not literally, but, no doubt she sweet-talked the management to be where she is today! I wonder how many people she sucked up to!! I wasn't the only who was upset with the bitch's promotion. Friends kept on calling and texting me expressing their dissatisfaction. We spent hours asking ourselves, why her??? There were so many others who had better qualifications, who were more reliable and responsible and deserved the post, but how come the dotty bimbo got it? Sigh.... I don't question God's work, but I need to know why... What were the bosses thinking? How could they make this huge mistake? The unfairness is unbearable... having the brainless bimbo in the top management could only mean one thing - We are doomed! :p




Thursday, April 23, 2009

things people do for love...

They are both divorcees. He is with 2 daughters and she has 3. They are close friends. They confide in each other. Gradually he falls in love with her. She was an ex-model who now works in a bank. She is stunningly beautiful, but with very low self-esteem especially after the separation. Somehow she didn't get the custody of the kids and has been in devastated state eversince. She doesn't earn much, now lives with her parents and has to travel far to her workplace. She is vulnerable and lost in life. He is lost in love and this makes him vulnerable. He tried lots of things to win her heart. He used lots of tricks to woo her. At one point he proposed her, asked her hands to cling to his eternally... but... she said no. She wasn't ready. His ego was bruised but he did not give up. They are still friends. She needs him as her pillar, he wants her to be his sheila.

He always showers her with gifts, flowers, motivational books and what not. Hoping she would see how sincere he is towards her, how hopelessly in love he is with her. He gives her motivation to face the odds, provides her shoulders to cry on when she breaks down, shares his strength when she is at her weakest point, lifts her up when she is falling apart. His life revolves around her (besides his 2 gorgeous angels). Still, she wants him only as friend. He has come to the point that he just wants her to be happy. He would do anything to see her joyous smile. He loves her so much, it hurts.

He believes (or maybe I made him believe?) that the core of her problem is money. She lacks of it. If she has more money, she can get a house nearby the office, hence, less travelling. If she has more money, she can show to her ex that she is financially stable and can afford to take care of her daughters. She misses them terribly and wants to be with them always. If she has more money, she can buy a laptop and do her work from home and spend more time with her kids. If she has more money, she can pamper herself more, hence, makes her happier. Money is not everything, yes, but everything is money. Upon, realising this, he knew he had to do something. Oh, no, he could not just give her money. She wouldn't accept it. So, he came up with an idea (it was actually MY idea!) to create a job for her. A part-time job as his Personal Assistant. No, he didn't need one actually, but he did it in the name of love. He made up stories of being awfully busy and offered her the job. She eagerly accepted it! She was so keen and wanted to start asap! She was extremely excited! He was extremely relieved ! He planned to buy her a laptop and pay her RM500 a month. All comes from his own money!!! He told me that he wasn't really sure what he wanted her to do actually. Maybe just updating his schedules and writing memos for the time being. Wow! RM500 a month and a laptop just by doing that??? He didn't care he said. He just wanted her to be happy. That's enough for him. He is not expecting anything in return from her. It's ok if they just remain friends. He is happy when she is happy. He would do anything for her.. Anything for love..

Hmmm........ That's the story of my friend. Is he a fool foolishly in love? Or a desperate man who let love conquers all? Or a sweet guy with a sincere heart that put others first before him?

Hmmm........

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

:-)

It was a good break. Actually I planned to just buy things at Ikea, do my hair at D'Curve, catch some movies with my cousins and the rest just relaxing at my sister's place and finish the book that I bought last week. But, I only managed to do the first two and about that relaxing part, well, how to relax when we were always moving from one mall to another? hehe... Nevertheless it was all worth it.

I bought a fancy mirror for my Lady Boss. We thought of doing glass painting on it then ask her to hang it up on her office wall. I used to do glass painting with Sheeda 3 years ago. We even made money out of it! But when Sheeda moved to JB, we stopped doing it. Don't know whether we still got the skills or not.. hmmm... Anyway, I mms my friends before we settled on this unique mirror which we called 'sistem galaksi'.. hahaha... or should it be called 'sistem suria' instead? hahahaha... Cantik tak?;D (masa tangkap gambar ni angle tak betul la.. hehehe)

From the malls, I bagged a pair of jeans and a nice top; from jalan TAR, I got some tudungs for myself, my sis and my close friends. Since Mother's Day and Father's Day are approaching, my sisters and I bought early gifts for my parents. A wrist watch for dad and a pair of yellow shoes with a matching handbag for mom (I think I just bought brown shoes and handbag for mom a couple of months ago!). I wonder what colour that mom does not have yet... hmm...

Oh, my brother and his new wife tagged along. So far things are getting better among us. My eldest sister was the one with the loudest objection on the marriage but all the while we were in KL she chatted merrily with them! That was a relief! Just hope that it will last.

We left KL after maghrib on Monday feeling good, blessed and contented... and lazy to go to work the next day! hahahah...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

short breakaway

Am going to KL today for a short break and to be with my family. Due to the career project that I had been working on for 10 months (or maybe more), I seldom spend time with them. I was always busy and away. So, it's high time to be with my sisters and brother and all the ipar duai and nephews and nieces. Plus, I need to go to Ikea to buy something for Lady Boss to cheer her up. Something terrible happened to her a couple of days ago. She's been really upset and she couldn't hold her tears during the emergency meeting that we had after that terrible thing. We felt awfully sorry for her, thus, some of us decided to buy her something. She's a fan of ikea, so there is where I'm gonna be this weekend.
So, KL folks, here I come....!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

it's about time...

It was a bit tense at work this morning.. Well at least for me and another 2 of my colleagues. It started when I was told that I had to do this one task. I refused to do it because I had enough on my plate already. plus, I had done my part last month and now it was supposed to be done by another colleague. And what made me angrier was that I was the last to know about it because the person in charge forgot to hand me the memo.
So I went to confront this person who we call 'Hell' (a short form of her name). Told her the task was wrongly given to me and that had I was tied with another task. Told her that MK should be doing it not me. She then said if that was the case, then I had to tell MK myself for she didn't dare to order M because she would go beserk. What???
"You are the one in charge, you should tell her, not me! And why didn't I get this memo?"
"Sorry, I forgot to give it to you. You were attending another meeting so I only gave to those who came to our meeting" (for god's sake my meeting was just next door to hers!)
"If I were to get this earlier I would have gone beserk before M and today wouldn't happen!"
Hell went quiet. MK was on leave today. Another colleague, CML, came. She was appointed to carry out the task too. Both of us had to do it. The thing is I did it ON MY OWN last month. It should be MK and CML's baby this time around. And what's worse, CML's part only consisted 30% of the task and I had to do the rest!!!
"Hei, I know I'm being difficult. I'm sorry for being difficult. But this is the first time I'm being difficult. It IS about time I'm being difficult! It is just not fair! And I still have another thing that I have to do!" I could still control my voice. My voice rose a bit but hadn't gone to yelling yet. Everybody was looking at us now. It is true! everybody in that room including Hell knew that this was the first time I refused to do anything. Before, I would just accept anything being handed to me. I grumbled sometimes but I would still do it.
"Look, I have made my point. You are in charge so you figure out how to do this. I still wont do it." Then I walked away.
I was just about ten steps away when Hell called. Together with CML, she ran after me. Seems that CML volunteered to do the bigger part, so now I only had to do the smaller part. Gosh, Hell is a nitwit. It is not about who does what, I just don't want to do it!
"Please agree with this. I cannot ask MK to do it. She wouldn't compromise. She would scream if I asked her to do it" Apa punya ketua dia ni, takut nak bagi arahan?
"And you think I would compromise? I want to scream too!" I tried to walk away again. But CML stopped me and tried to talk me into in. Hell left assuming that CML would be able to reason with me. I didn't want to argue anymore. I just told CML that I would think about it.
Aaarrgggghhhhh.. .geramnya!!! Just because I am not as fierce as MK, I can be bullied? helllooooo!!!!! I won't let anybody to take advantage on me! No way! I will continue being difficult! :P

Saturday, April 11, 2009

life is a box of contradictions...

Just got back from dinner with the Big Boss. It was a celebration for his promotion. He was glowing with proud and joy the whole evening. He deserves the promotion. He's been working very hard to be where he is now. I honestly happy for him and actually pray for his success.
Funny how life is. I've been working for him for 8 years now. I got promoted in 2004 and work directly under him ever since then. It was difficult. Really difficult. I couldn't understand him. Couldn't meet him. Couldn't figured him out. I tried my very best to please him but failed miserably. He once humilated me in front of everybody, scolded me in a meeting, cancelled my prog at the last minute and that's only to name a few. I finally gave up then. I didn't quit though, I just stopped figuring him out, stop trying to please him and make him proud of me. I just did what I was supposed to do and tried avoiding as much conflict as possible. Last year I thought I would be replaced, but no.. he kept me. He gave me another chance to prove myself! I was grateful, yes, and determined to do much much better this time around. Then I met GP and he broke loose the secret of winning your Boss' heart. Not just any Boss, but MY Big Boss. From GP I learnt that I had an ego bigger than my head and always thought that I was smarter hence refused to accept criticism. Shame on me...
Thank God I'm a fast learner and within months things started to improve. When Big Boss got to know about my 'career project' he wasn't keen at all. He wasn't sure I was cut out for it. But, seeing my determination he supported me but of course I had to prove myself to him. That was why I worked doubly hard for his project that turned out to be a blast which rewards him his promotion tonight. Through GP's advice and guidence I slowly meeting my Big Boss in the middle. I can't say I understand him completely but at least I know what he likes and doesn't like and I now have a list of the dos and the don'ts. We communicate better and feel more at ease with each other. He even jokes with me and I feel more relax with him.
When I didnt get the job, I sent him a text informing him about it, telling him that I'm gonna be ok and will not give up. He gave me a beautiful message after that:
"Oren, don't worry. The world is full of contradictions. There will be no 'up' if there is no 'down'. Along the way we shall accumulate lots of experience that would bring good for our future. you are still our ****** whom we are proud of. We are behind you always."
So, tonight after the dinner, after almost everybody had left the room, he came to my table, sat next to me and we had little chat. I congratulated him again and we talked about his new job scope. He thanked me but I told him I should be thanking him instead for all the things he had taught me. We smiled. It felt good. I felt great. Things are looking up between us. Alhamdulillah..
I thank you God.. and I thank GP...
GP.... hmmm.....

Friday, April 10, 2009

life is a basket of fruits...

Hmmm... Banyak giler nak story kat sini.. Yelah, dah dekat sebulan tak update blog.. I was in a daze like for a week or two, then on adrenaline the next 10 days... Baru hari ni betul-betul ada masa dan ada mood nak menulis... Now, where to start ye?
Yeah.. My career project.. Nope.. I didnt get it.. Yup. It slipped away from my hand... I was ok at first when they told me the news. I just smiled and said that it was just not my rezeki and I would move on. But when friends and more friends kept on asking me what happened, why I didnt get it, why si polan si polan yg dapat when it was supposed to be mine, I just couldnt handle it. I broke down. I hated it! I hate being weak or seen weak. But I am only human. I hate crying in front of people but I did that day. Twice, boleh??? The next few days I kept on asking myself and God too, what did I do wrong. I worked hard for it. I didnt use dirty tricks to get it. And I used the right channel. So, why those who are less industrious, incredibly dirty and shamelessly cunning got the job that I wanted? Well, the answer is right there! because they are awfully dirty and outrageously cunning! Hmm... I wanted to use more filthy words here but... Hei, it's their rezeki kan... Itu yang tersurat...
Anyway, as I said earlier I was lost for more than a week. It was hard for me to face people especially those who got the jobs (more than one job were up for grabs actually). I had a plastic smile plastered on my face when I was actually hurting inside. No, I didnt want to be friendly with them, but I had to. No, I didnt want to shake hands with them, but I did it anyway. No, I didnt want to congratulate them but I said it without stuttering. I became numb after that... GP (the one who broke my heart - will talk more about him in one of the entries) tried to console me... He failed at first.. Then he gave me these inspiring profound words:
'Sun Yat Sen failed 10 times and only succeeded during 11th attempt to become the president in modern China.'
'Few people travel the road to success without a puncture or two.'
'The rung of a ladder is never meant to be rested upon but to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other foot somewhat higher'
Those motivating words helped me to move on. Thanx GP! Lagipun I believe God has better plans for me... As I said in my last entry, 'everything happens for a reason'... oh, and I thank the author of the book 'Setengah Berisi Setengah Kosong' too.. The book taught me a lot in looking at life positively.
So, here I am today, holding my head high and am giving everybody a sincere smile while taking big steps forward. It's a fruitful life and I'm savouring it...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

berdebar.....

Minggu ni minggu penentuan... Setelah berusaha keras selama hampir 10 bulan, inilah masanya... Samada aku akan terus maju ke hadapan, atau perlu terus berada di takuk ini.. Apapun keputusannya nanti, aku redha... Pasti ada hikmah di sebaliknya.. Everything happens for a reason. Moga kejayaan milik aku. Ameen.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

penatsssssssssssssssss!

I've been rushing here and there for the whole week! And I AM still rushing! meetings and more meetings! programs and more programs! functions and more functions! but less sleep, less rest, less time for myself! penatssss tahap gaban!
Dulu bawa kerete on highway cuma 110-120 kmh but now 130-150 kmh, boleh? Entah berapa la saman speed trap yg kena bayar nanti! Urrgh, I don't wanna find out! And, my car.. adus kesian AEVryl.... I drive her on smooth and bumpy roads without mercy! Jangan break down lagi ya AEVryl! Need u love!

Ah, baju yang berlambak tak lipat tu... sape nak tolong lipatkan? aaaaarrrggggghhh! Tapi, nasib baik mak helped in doing the laundry! Kalau tidak, confirm pakai tuala je keluar rumah! hahahahahhahaha.... Thanx mak! Love u!

Wait, ada banyak lagi nak cerita, but need to finish my work first! Lady boss wants the paperwork that I'm working on this monday! Baru siap 30% je! Adus...!!!! :p

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

untuk Z

It was Z's birthday 8 days ago. Called him in the morning and sang him the song. He laughed heartily and said that I had just made his day. He felt good and so did I. Later that day we chatted thru gtalk. He wanted to know whether I had bought him his birthday gift! Selamba je kan? Hehe... But, the truth is I did not plan to buy him anything. So, I asked him. 'kena bagi ke?' Then he went on and on about how when he was young he seldom got birthday presents, (huh? ke situ pulak?) and it would mean a lot to him if friends showered him with gifts. He did this (begging for gifts) for 3 consecutive days, boleh? I wonder, why didn't he ask from his girlfriend je? But, being a woman, yang lembut hati pulak (che wah!), I dragged sheeda to JJ to help me finding him the perfect gift.

Day 1 - surveying all the possibilities. I did not have a big budget, I mean, he's not my boyfriend, so tak payah la nak spend banyak sangat kan? hehe.. Gosh, buying things for men is a difficult task! Men don't wear a lot of accessories, so the scope is quite limited. I went back home with zero idea!

Day 2 - after about an hour of surveying, I settled on this table lamp. It was funky and different but certainly not new arrival. I didn't know why I bought it in the first place. Yes, he just moved in to a new house, so the lamp would be perfect.. but... eee... tak best! tak best!

Day 3 - went back to JJ. The table lamp will be a gift to another friend je lah... Stress giler cari hadiah untuk mamat ni. I wanted it to be different - something that he wouldn't think of! Then, sheeda came up with an idea. We went to the household section. I bought him a japenese plate with a matching bowl, a spoon, a pair of chopsticks and a mug. Then I spotted a matching tray which fit everything nicely. I then bought a plastic container that can be used as a drainer as well as to keep the set securely. He lives alone and seldom cooks. He always 'tapau' his food even at the office. Thus, this individual dining set is just perfect to be used and kept in his office! Mission accomplished! I hoped he would like it and most importantly appreciate the time and energy I had spent in finding him his birthday gift.

2 days ago - He came to my hometown. We had brunch together with a good friend of ours. I presented him the gift. Nope, not the set. Not yet. I gave him a copy of exam paper which I set for my students. It was dedicated to him because it got his name in there and an article about the origin of the 'Happy Birthday' song. He laughed and was pleased to see his name printed on the paper.. hehe.. Tak lah hebat sangat tapi, agak sweet la kan? ;D After we had our meal then only I gave him the actual gift. He was sincerely happy. He laughed goodheartedly, blushed deeply and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenyum memanjang! As he was unwrapping the set one by one, I explained to him why I got him those stuff. And of course I had to let him know how stressful I was in finding him a birthday gift! He was touched la.... And I was glad he liked it.

Hadiah tu sememangnya tak mahal, tak de brand, tak lah sehebat mana... But at least it was different than what he had anticipated (u know stuff like shirt, tie, tie pins etc). And... I put in 100% effort to get him the present. That's the most important thing and I hope he realised that!

Happy Birthday Z!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

topsy turvy

A lot of things happened lately. Good ones, bad ones, nonsensical ones. Here goes..
Good one
My brother remarried after being a divorcee for nearly 3 years. Finally there's someone to really take care of him.
Bad one
The whole family did not approve of his choice due to some reasons. And when we are struggling to accept her wholeheartedly, how to live as one family?
Nonsensical one
I decided to go to sabah and not attending his akad nikah and the bride's kenduri.
Good one
My 'career boost' project is coming to an end. By early April I would know whether I'm moving forward or backward or maybe nowhere. Then only I can take a break and pamper myself in luxury... Can't wait...
Bad one
My rivals are using dirty tricks. Their sinful acts may affect my chances of going to the higher level! Something has to be done!
Nonsensical one
No one dares to report! Aaaaaaarrrrggghhh!
Good one
I managed to get the allocation from the government that my lady boss had been eyeing on. Cash haven't reached our door yet, but the Minister himself had promised me to spare some for us. Wah, macam bagus je bunyinya kan? hehehe...
Bad one
hmmm... too personal to be shared here...
Nonsensical one
Me!
Good one
I'm getting over him! My broken heart is gradually mended! It wasn't love, I'm sure of that! haha...
Bad one
We are still in touch. How could I move on if he still lingers around me?
Nonsensical one
I found my rebound, a sabahan guy! Those trips to sabah proved to be quite rewarding jugak rupanya! huhu...! ;D
Good one
Dato' Dr. Zambry form UMNO-BN is now Perak's new Chief Minister. A young and dynamic profesional who carries the burden of getting back the rakyat's confidence to the new state government.
Bad one
Nizar still believes that he is in power. Siva suspended Zambry and his Excos. They sue each other and become the laughing stock!
Nonsensical one
Perak has TWO Chief Ministers and their fighting over the seat has become more and more ridiculous. And today Nizar and geng had their state assembly under the tree! What can be more nonsensical than that? We have the winner here, folks!!!
It's a mad mad world here in Perak... and my life!