Clueless

Am I expecting too much from people? I did a character analysis once and the results says that I expect people to give me as much as I give them. It is true I suppose. or else I wouldn't be feeling like this! I wouldn't be so mad with Z.. or am I mad with myself actually?

I should have known that Z doesn't really care for me as much as I care for him. Hei, don't get me wrong. I care for him as a friend. We are not romantically involved! I believe I always treat him well especially when he comes to my hometown. We would go out with other friends, eat, chat and sometimes bowl. So when I go to his area, I anticipate the same treatment. I mean, he did ask me to inform him whenever I drop by his territory. But he's a man. Men come from a different planet from my species. We don't see things from the same angle or care about the same stuff. Thus, last month, when I told him a few days earlier about me coming to KL, I was hoping him to at least call me. But he did not. When I was back in Perak, he admitted he forgot about it. OOOKAY... bengang dah sikit..

2 weeks later, again I had to go to KL. Told him about it a couple of days beforehand. Expected him to call me. Again nothing. And again, later, he confessed he forgot! Boleh???? Lupa lagi??? Then he blamed me for not calling or texting him instead! What??????

2 days ago, I had a meeting in KL. This time around I texted him. Asked him out for a late supper right after my meeting. I just wanted to see him because I had things to tell him and needed his advice. After my meeting, I texted him. No reply. When I reached my sister's place and showered and stuff, I texted him again. No reply. I was a bit pissed. I was pretty sure he was snoring his way to the dreamland and I was right. Early in the morning, during sahur, he apologised through sms for dozing off early and missed the supper. I didn't reply. I was still mad. I didn't eat much during my fast-breaking because I wanted to dine with him. Thus, my late supper (which I had alone in front of TV) was only a piece of bun and a small box of chocolate milk which I bought at the nearest 7-E. Thefore, that morning, I was both hungry and angry.

Arrggghhh! I hate this! I dont want to be in this situation. I still want his friendship but at the same time I don't want him to take me for granted! Am I being irrational here? Am I being childish? Don't I have the right to be furious? Don't I deserve to be treated well? But the biggest questions now, where do I go from here? What should I do? And what do I want? Honestly, I don't have the answers....